A GOOD MOM

The world wants you to believe that perfect child= good parent. That if your child doesn't like wearing clothes, your house is never clean, and your child likes to run away or throw tantrums when you try to take them to primary, that basically means you're failing as a parent and you should never have had kids in the first place. To all you awesome moms out there who are doing your best, I want you to know that I truly think you are a good mom!

I was a VERY strong willed child even at a young age, and I was the queen of tantrums! I was the little toddler you see screaming in the grocery store because they didn't get what they wanted, but I took it to the next level. I would actually cry and not breathe in until I made my myself pass out! My poor mother didn't know what to do, and my doctor advised her to just ignore me! Can you imagine the looks she must have gotten from all the horrified shoppers, clearly thinking she must be some terrible woman who can't control her child? Well you know what? I happen to have one of the most amazing mothers in the world! She was patient and loving and she accepted me for the total independent strong willed child I was even when I entered the frustrating teenager stage at 8 years old;) Now that I'm an adult and am still that way, I've realized that's just my personality, and nothing my mother could have done would have changed that.

When I was pregnant with Quinn, everyone would tell me that I was going to have a child just like me so that I would know what it was like for my mom. I would always say that was never going to happen because I was going to be a strict mom who disciplined her child and he would be perfect. (I know right?) Well Quinn surprised everyone and was the perfect little baby who never cried an slept all the time  and I could not have been more proud!Then when Quinn started crawling, things slowly started changing. It was subtle so I didn't think much of it. I would take him with me to relief society, and he would wiggle and squirm until I put him down on the ground. Then as he got bigger he started flailing around so it was impossible to hold him while sitting down. And then the throwing started. When he didn't want something he would just throw it. And by it I mean everything. Toys, food, bottles. Then he started walking. Or I guess I should say running. Mostly away from me. And when you tried to hold his hand he would drop down on the ground so his hand was yanked out of yours and  then make a break for it. On and on I could go but I won't bore you with the details. Basically he's 3 1/2 now and is still extremely strong willed and independent.

Now I'm not saying he's a bad child. He doesn't hit or break things or fight with other kids. In fact he's extremely sweet and polite and says sorry when I'm having a bad day even if he didn't do anything and always uses please and thank yous<3 He just doesn't like feeling restricted and when he gets excited he has a hard time remembering simple instructions like "stay next to me and don't run away."

This has totally turned into a novel so I'm going to get to the point. I made the not so smart decision to look online for advice on Quinn's running problem since obviously it's a safety issue, but I feel bad keeping him in a stroller when we go to fun busy places like the zoo, because all the other kids are running around and he can't see anything sitting down. Needless to say, 30 minutes later I was on the verge of tears because everyone online seemed to think that since I couldn't keep my child next to me, I was a terrible mother who couldn't control her child. 

Well you know what? I think I'm a good mom. I'm not anywhere near perfect, but I'm still a good mom. And so are you.

My house is usually not clean, but I tell my son I love him every chance I get.

I rarely have a healthy home cooked meal that we eat at the kitchen table, but I tuck my child in and give him kisses and hugs every time he goes down for a nap or bed.

My son is almost always naked because I can't get him to keep his clothes on for longer than 5 minutes, but I take the time to snuggle and talk with him every day.

Quinn probably watches way more tv than is recommended, but I have read him his favorite Dr.Seuss book so many times over the last 3 years that I can recite all 20+ pages from memory.

I don't take him outside nearly a much as I should, but we spend just about every second of every day playing and laughing together.

And I'm terrible at getting my child to go to primary each Sunday without screaming and kicking as I drag him down the hall, but I pray with him every morning and night and before each meal.

So to all you moms, who think you are failing or letting your child down, go give them a big hug, tell them you love them, and know that you are awesome!

Mariasha